Top Ten Movie Villains
posted in `Roids |By Lloyd Kaufman
10. Tadanobu Asano as Kakihara in Takashi Miike’s Ichi the Killer: “The S&M and torture made me feel almost as disgusted as the time I sat through Pretty Woman.”
9. Barbra Streisand: “Truly frightening make-up effects that get more and more real as the years pass.”
8. The corrupt Mayor in The Toxic Avenger: “Fat greedy politicians as they truly are.”
7. Lloyd Kaufman in Farts of Darkness: The Making of Terror Firmer
6. Mega-conglomerate video chains: “Limiting who gets their films released.”
5. Tom Cruise and other big budget stars: “They must really hate movies because they demand mucho money to be in them!”
4. George Lucas’s newer chapters: “Even more nauseating than the originals.”
3. Adolf Hitler in Triumph of the Will: “Leni Rifenstahl is the best female horror director since Penny Marshall”
2. Noxie, the Noxious Offender in Citizen Toxie: “Chilling performance; check it out! Plus, I hear the director is quite the looker!”
1. MPAA and Jack Valenti: “Chilling! Truly Frightening! Most sadistic act of film butchering I have ever seen!”